.

I’ve come to detest those brick buildings

I loved so much when I first moved back here
To the Midwest,
.
The lovelorn,
They know no shrapnel
Because they are shrapnel it’s
Quelling of the rip tide of association
As you stomp up shore.

Your body was blue,

A pale, barely colored blue,
But it was nude and you were beautiful,
And you had wings
.
So that I thought I should do something,
But I was suspended,
Pedaling back to infancy
A gore to rhyme of navels.

A stoppage of identity ceases to be a problem once it’s recognized as such.

When the rain rains high

On the drought that’s given us mental stability
Like aster computers,
.
The end of her will be there
Clamoring the wayward ebb toward pop culture

In the moon’s shaft the camera has been on you,

But I’ve seen it unfolding,
It has streamed your innards,
And now you come to me like a luminescent moon
As I’m free to dance around the front yard
Letting the trees notice me.

I be always throwin’ bows in this life,

‘Cause that’s what the right hand man Stan sand stands,
Doin’ what I gotta do
A vapid iceberg
‘Cause POPS he there and MA she
Thereand they got these COMPUTERS
They’re always
Watching me on they CELL PHONES,
Fixtures of manufactured anatomy.

Are you willing to be deconstructed,

For on this planet you are open market for the wolves,
Jagged edges of welfare’s displacement
Lining every
Corridor you find meaningful,
Dodging the light gracing the girl
You will kill when you have nothing left.

I think of all those truncated lives

Amidst rainstorms in the flatlands
Braced against computer screens,
And my head meanders down
With thoughts of masturbation
Which they’re sure to endure
The meadows flanked by factories
And then as life hits me
And I look at all the newly breathed trees
Green with pores that have died
Eight months ago, something
Is in the most unfortunate
Which cannot be accessed unless by
Telepathy, and you have
All that going under a school bus
To figure out what’s wrong.

Sometimes I feel like my whole existence is predicated upon anger and wrath, like this is the crux of a white man’s essence. I mean, we enslaved the blacks, and we killed the Injuns to live on this land… I feel incapable of forming true positivity.

The weather was different from how when I remembered this. I remembered that. I had a bone to pick with that weather, man.

Other than that, everything else was the same as yesterday. No more buildings had gone out of business. There was still that parking lot over there, I still didn’t know what it was for, and there was still a goldfish bowl in the building, or probably. I had never been in the building.
So many people nervous. I wasn’t nervous, exactly. I was just a head and toes, a five-foot-nine contour of my own reality, an ego that was encapsulated entirely in epidermal sensations.
The right way to act was acting like everything was important, so I adverted my eyes quickly and chuckled obediently up in the office when I was signing in. Insurance, yeah it’s under my mom’s. Same goldfish bowl.
It was the fancy doctor’s office, which meant the people were more stressed out, and there weren’t ENOUGH goldfish bowls. I had a feeling, on this rainy day, like something were about to happen. Something were CREEPING, creeping toward some denouement when drunken bartenders would realize some unavoidable truth, when a crackhead would smoke his last pipe and then croak on the front steps of the diner where it costs $12 for a breakfast, when typewriters would come back to life, grow camouflage coats and start marching down the street to a Genghis Khan theme song. And I would grow one year older, 19, that much harder to fit into this world.
“What can I do for you today?” the doctor asked.
“I can’t do anything,” I answered, in my usual baritone voice after getting my height, weight and BP.
The doctor just laughed. Check that, I can make people laugh. Now, at least. In ten seconds, verdict pending.
“Occupational anxiety is common in your age,” he answered. “And every age. Have you thought about the military?”
“Dad wouldn’t let me.”
“Hmm. Yeah it’s tough to go against dad’s choice. But still that is a plausible cause for a lot of unguided young men wanting structure.”
I nodded at him slowly, and deliberated as to whether I would go get the chance to get shrapnel pumped into me, no matter the weather.