According to the Salt Lake Tribune, which was the first news source to pop up under a June 30 search for “montana machete,” late on June 22, 2018, police in Great Falls, Montana “received a call” from a man who “had come home to find his ex-girlfriend hiding behind his bedroom door, wielding a machete,” […]

Without you I would have been about the same as the rest — Empty, alone, probably residing somewhere On the west coast to laugh slowly in Cautious bars, a median liberal Snowing himself toward a death that seemed toward the bottom Of a hill draped with trailers and bulldozers And just enough ill will To […]

In this town in this one bar They put the girls in this spandex underwear And really my favorite one I liked because of her face And hated because of her a** and t**s — . They there they are — Half the town goes to Friday’s every night Which cheats and rolls out a […]

The feeling hangs in the air Like joints being passed Of the air being mutual with your bone marrow And everything you see then usurped By the “hardness” in you when they’re Ready to cut you up any day, the Real Criminals The ones Who take their bibs off And step out of their house […]

I go To All The bars In this town and Over here There’s a 19 year old girl With a face like a daisy petal, Like a bed of newly fallen snow, Smiling at me as she slowly rolls silverware, There’s the perv who’s always in the skanky bar saying “Nice to make your acquaintance,” […]

Sunshine Sammy Says / Part 1 / 03.20.2015 Ugh, all these microbreweries, they’re for the birds! When is South Bend gonna get a sleazy, dimly lit martini bar modeled after the various Chicago spots called like Dynamite Danny’s, with a martini glass oscillating on a neon sign, a craps table and nothing but Bulls games […]

* Sunshine Sammy returns: “Hey a**hole. Why are you trying to reuse your old password? Are you trying to di** me over again?” . Hey a**hole. Why are you trying to reuse your old password? Are you trying to di** me over again? It’s right there, ya jerk, you used “September2” six years ago the […]

The exact thing with “seeing too much” Is that everything you see becomes a part of you — It’s never water off your back Like Dickie Greenleaf It embeds its pores in your ankles and wrists That you look at down like lili pads when you’re Trying to go to sleep and Upward is downward […]

I am walking down my street and laughing to myself Because that is what I have to do, To stay happy. I’m thinking of the show Malcolm in the Middle, How the Little Kid would run into the room With a spider bite and talking about chainsawing someone to death And then the dad would […]

I’m walking around in my Orioles hat. I don’t have a car, but I live close to what I need to go to, which is the two bars down the block, to see if they have concerts tonight. My car bit the dust back in ’12 when the oil ran out in Gary, Indiana, the […]