“Whiskers”

I noticed the suicide watch post at the university and I signed up. It was to make up to $225. That seemed like good money and I’ve been going through it. I filled out the survey, with my phone number, e-mail address and all that good stuff we know and hate. And I got all ready, mentally, to go in and sit with a person, at Notre Dame, and talk about my suicidal thoughts. And I hit “submit.” And then I went back on Facebook. And I saw this black and white cat. And I couldn’t stop staring at that cat and how cool it looked. It had these long, white whiskers that reminded me of the glaze on a donut, that reminded me of the fluorescent lights you see when you’re in the back seat of your parents’ car and you’re pulling into a city, and they’re nervous about seeing their parents and in-laws. Everything is still and you behold the beauty of our Apollonian creations, or of a cat, and their Zen Buddhist lack of desire. And then, after thinking of all this, I caught a look of myself in a mirror. And I was glad I had a beard. I was glad of that. And I was glad of everything. And I thought, I better skip the suicide trip, and the Notre Dame trip, too, while I’m at it. I mean, I don’t want ’em getting any ideas.