Oh God, my jaw is bent out of shape and unsubstantial, and I quit chewing tobacco, but once in a while I’ll still throw one in: and I have to be careful then not to let it form into a habit all over again. The stuff is addictive in many ways, one of which is that sometimes you’ll think of some music you heard while dipping, and in order to feel like you’re fully enjoying that music, you’ll have to throw another one in, to really sink into that feeling. But another factor is public will.
Sometimes I’ll just see seven different people dipping in one night, in public places, and I’ll just think to myself, can I really be within righteous parameters continuing to abstain from said activity? Like, in life, we’re already born corporeally, but we also assemble ourselves, in addition to this, every day. We set up stratagems for succeeding — but then we’ll go out drinking too, and I think this bespeaks our need for camaraderie. At the end of the day, what we desire more than our own autonomous success is a sort of divine unity.
I go out drinking in a wife beater. I’m back in Indiana, my home state: I’m not gonna lie. This is what we do. I get a smile from this girl parked in a car about halfway through town, at a stop sign: her eyes traverse the entire autumnal season with the colors of the sunset. Earlier at work my boss had literally had a chud in all day, and now, in T.G.I. Friday’s, where I will drink too much and listen to other people tell me stories probably 15% of which are true, the bartender has a dog in too.
On my way home, I just have to stop, and god damn if this isn’t the funniest gas station I’ve ever been in, right outside the Honey Creek Mall in Terre Haute, Indiana. Right in front of me, the girl about to check out is babbling on about her mom: “I’m 22… she’s 36, or 38, or 40… I don’t even know!” The clerk dismisses her and asks me “Have you HAD the strawberry donuts? They’re nasty.” “I’ll live,” I say. I polish them off during my bike ride home, they’re delicious, and then I put the chud in.
Anyway, is the same rule true for chicks… like, if a bunch of guys just like them, will they finally just pick one and get with him, even if they don’t like any? I dunno. This was gonn a be my topic, but I’ve finally decided that I’m not a chick, so I can’t write about it. C’est la vie.